Blood Bowl Match report: FC Zombielona vs Bayern Ogerz 2-1

Our Blood Bowl vets Dennis ‘Pep’ the Menace and Dan ‘Ten Hack’ the Deadman recently played a Blood Bowl match in our Amsterdam6shooters Arena. Here’s the report.

[by Faek Nijuz, our sports editor]

To June’s Skull & Bones Cup triumph Dan The Deadman adds the gilded prize of ChampionZ League qualification, and his first year in charge of FC Zombielona could still end with Blood Bowler Hat Cup glory too.

The coup de grace versus the Bayern Ogerz was applied by the irrepressible Count Dracula in the closing stages. The Transsylvanian nutmegged Von Punzkicker, who clipped his ankle. The referee, Allseeing Ai, awarded a penalty: Count Dracula took the spot-kick by waiting for Niecht Yetzt to commit himself, then aimed the ball straight and in.


Cue some needless contretemps from each set of players for reasons unclear before Count Dracula turned creator. The hapless Oger Von Punzkicker decided to clear a regulation ball straight to his nemesis. He fed Uncle Fester Adams, who dummied Krunzher Volkswagen finished for his 30th goal of the season.


Zombielona hunted for the point they needed to seal qualification with Uncle Fester Adams a substitute after illness and the momentum of two wins in a row pushing them forward. There was, too, a snap in the challenge of Count Dracula on Mürderoch Munich that led to a corner, as Zombielona attacked the Bayern Ogers in waves.

After the match, the victorious Dan The Deadman impressed everybody with original insights like “we keep focused and not get injuries … our team has a good spirit … we are in the right direction … we know we are still not where we want to be … but if you want to be successful you have to be in the ChampionZ League”.

While losing coach Dennis The Menace had a hard time with the sewer rats that call themselves journalists. ” It’s a bad year for the club … it needs a reboot … the club will move on … generally everything has to be improved … it’s for someone else to take on … if you ask me what I’ve learned [since returning to the Bayern Ogerz] in terms of coaching, not so much”.